A Little Lost

As many of you know, I consider myself to be one lucky bonus mom to a pretty awesome teenager. We honestly have a great combination of a friend/mom relationship and I feel beyond blessed to know her and be a part of her life.

Last year she was homeschooled, and we spent a lot of time together. This year she started into public school, where she will be for her final three years. I have to say, I’m feeling a little lost right now. I also admit to crying the day she left for school. I suddenly understood why parents cry when their children start Kindergarten.

Part of this feeling is just because I was so used to her being here with me. I had a cleaning, cooking, laughter, and Xbox partner (ok, I admit it, I’m more her Xbox partner because she taught me how to play most the games we have). I don’t mind taking care of the cooking and cleaning, but it’s the silence during the day that gets me. I’m used to her radio playing or her showing me videos on her phone, or us hunched over a workbook together or discussing schoolwork, or just hanging out and chatting or being goofy together.

Schoolwork, I’m feeling lost there too. I loved being a part of that with her. She’s very intelligent, and I’m so glad to see she’s doing well this year and enjoying school (oh the relief that is). She’s where she needs to be and I wouldn’t want it any other way, but I desperately want to be a part of that life with her and feel a little out of sorts. She was sitting at the table doing schoolwork last night and it took everything I had not to want to look over her shoulder and see what she was studying and what more we could do with it. Instead I made myself keep distance, ask her about her subjects and what kind of homework she had, and take the occasional glances at it. We discussed the topics she was covering in her Government/Political Science class and exchanged opinions, which thrilled me. She enjoys talking about what she is learning, which also thrills me.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who has experienced this, but wow, I wasn’t expecting it either.

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